New research sheds light on one of the most commonly repeated phrases in our culture: people don't really ever change. You can't teach an old dog new tricks. A leopard doesn't change its spots. The more things change, the more they remain the same.
We all encountered numerous examples of this. People who claim they've changed but really haven't. Or tell us it's going to be different this time but it isn't. And of course, looking at ourselves, it often feels like we don't change enough--certainly not very quickly. Many of us are still dealing with the same problems and internal issues we've had for years--or even our entire lives.
On the other hand, the entire concept of the spiritual path is predicated on the ability to change and evolve. If change isn't really possible, whether through greater understanding, experience, or practice, than the entire concept of personal and spiritual growth is an illusion.
Speaking both personally and as someone who's met or taught thousands of spiritual seekers, I can say from personal experience that change is very much possible, though admittedly it sometimes comes slower than we wish. The good news is that's not just my subjective opinion. Research just published in the mainstream scientific journal, Social Indicators Research demonstrates that people in fact CAN change their personalities over time.
More importantly, positive changes in our personality aren't only possible but they lead to clear, measurable improvements in our happiness and well-being. Best of all, it turns out that learning to make inward changes in our personality is even more effective than worrying about changing our external environment or conditions. As the lead author of the study, Dr. Chris Boyce, writes:
"We found that our personalities can and do change over time -- something that was considered improbable until now -- and that these personality changes are strongly related to changes in our wellbeing. Compared with external factors, such as a pay rise, getting married or finding employment, personality change is just as likely and contributes much more to improvements in our personal wellbeing."
So the next time you find yourself thinking that change--yours or someone else's--just isn't possible, think again. There's a reason that spiritual geniuses of every religion and era advocate sincere spiritual practice. These things work. Try it and watch your life change for the better.
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Comment by grocco on April 11, 2012 at 3:30am "Can" they? Yes.
Will they, 99%, no.
Our potential is so much greater than the 'burned in' habits of a lifetime. It's just that we are also programmed to find change very uncomfortable, downright irritating, and irritation is something we lead away from at all costs. Even to our own detriment and those we love.
I have never doubted that there is an element in us that CAN be called upon to change ourselves in a postive (or negative) direction, but it requires a lot of practice, just like anything else before it becomes habitual, instinctual, and automatic. \
If one would like to first adopt the attitude that "I'm feeling too satisfied, too at ease, too relaxed I'd better MAKE MYSELF uncomfortable for a while to stay in "changeable shape".
Exercise comes to mind as a perfect example: no pain, no gain.
The smallest things can begin the journey to progress. e.g. if one is left handed, do things with your right. Not, obviously, neurosurgery, but those things that you do frequently like swinging a golf club if you have that hobby, or eating, brushing your teeth, putting your belt in the other way thru the loops, etc. Place frequently used objects out of reach so that you have to get out of your comfortable position to get them. The possibilties are endless and can be compounded by urging those around you to do the same.
Self-discipline to do that which is good for you in the long run (not eating sugar) is a lost art. We have become too hedonistic, doing our own thing, when NOT doing our own thing can yield far more beneficial and lasting rewards.
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