Comment

Comment by grocco on April 10, 2012 at 4:17am

Self-centered, narcissistic, and egotistical are different from each other.  To lump them into a bollus is an error.

We are all self-centered whether we admit it to ourselves or others, or not.  That is not a bad thing or a good thing in and of itself. 

Narcissism is a much more along the negative trajectory of maladies affecting the personal human spirit. Of the three it is the most pathological.

A strong ego is healthy, absolutely required for survival, getting along in life and being prosperous.  I can't think of single successful person I know who is not  'egotistical'. It seems healthy, but abrasive many times, but I'd sooner that than a weak or neutral ego.

It is incumbent on each of us to distinguish between the emotions and the intellect in dealing with 'the other'.  I am reminded of Paul Farmer the M.D. who has dedicated his career to the people of Haiti who have endured for a hundred years the deprivations of the most inhumane kind.  He will hike 4 hours into the mountains to provide medical care for one person.  Meanwhile, the care he could render to those closest to him go without his services, but his Ego will not permit him to feel as much compassion as for those who are isolated, unable to come to him. He has saved many thousands of lives and in the process over 15-20 years has set in motion a process that has created even more of the poor and uncared for.  I don't know how to comprehend that, but it seems to me, intellectually, that he should be dispensing his care with less compassion and more strategy. 

As several have noted already, the consolidation this author created is wrong and needs much more refinement if it is to have any credibility in swaying them and me into being more compassionate, caring, and ' ever mindful of the needs of others', as we used to say at grace before meals.

I amd struck by one thing, though, and I hope it is taken in a benigin spirit, and that is, the people I have met of the Jewish persuasion seem to have a solid grasp of what it means to be intelligently compassionate (as opposed to emotionally so).  There genuine caring for the underdog, the hapless, unfortunate, and put upon seems to rise to the level of empathy  that is a marvel to behold.  It should be a model adopted by everyone who is much better off in life.

 

Comment by Ericka on March 5, 2012 at 1:16pm

This gets me thinking...Can a person truly be happy if his or her needs are never met? Don't we all have to look out for ourselves so people don't walk all over us? What is the line here between narcissism and self-preservation-survival? 

Comment by Juliebean2012 on March 5, 2012 at 12:54am

I agree with this to some extent. I think not being self-centered is good for your soul and your body. However, sometimes good people just get tired of being taken advantage of, such as in the case of guys who have drama with exes that is unresolved and then they drag it into a new relationship with a new woman. 

Comment by Jennifer Dunn on March 1, 2012 at 7:34am

My life is always in a state of more peace and contentment when I do just that and forget myself.  I couldnt agree with this more.  If I had to constantly promote myself - to myself and others, Id go batty! :)

Comment by tomsbabyjenna on February 28, 2012 at 5:30pm

after looking at the test I am not very narcissistic, which I believe is pretty good. I do think we all have an issue with one or two of the items at various times. I tend to get hurt by others pretty easily. That's what I need to work on myself. I can see the stress factor in being highly narcissistic. It is clearly evident in celebrities where they are obsessed with their looks to the point of becoming anorexic and then suddenly need rehab to get back to functioning levels.  The stress comes in when they feel the need to spend so much time and money worrying about their looks.

Comment by lena gogol on February 27, 2012 at 3:50am

Hmm, I had no idea that being a narcissist makes you stressed. But why is that? What is the connection between these 2? I am kinda narcissist but I am not stressed at all.

Comment by Sheila on February 26, 2012 at 9:14am

I took the test and I scored 16. Between 12 and 15 is normal as the site says. Celebrities score is 18 above. Anyways I need to work on my ego using your book. Thank you for this eye opening article. 

Comment by Alexia on February 24, 2012 at 10:33pm

I just love your posts, and this is definitely my favorite one. I completely agree that being self-centered takes a kind of form of narcissistic and is obviously bad for you. If you start to think all about yourself, all you will see is a materialistic world, and the feeling of love, trust and relationship just seem to fade away from your mind. A little self-centered feeling is necessary, but being more of it, will just make you a worse human being. 

Comment by Tara Burner on February 24, 2012 at 7:24pm

LOVE this... "The more we feel in complete harmony and attunement with our environment and Higher Self, the happier, more peaceful, more blissful we become."

I can't being to imagine how tiring it would be to only be concerned about myself and not caring for others.

Think this quote goes well with this post "Happiness is a by-product of an effort to make someone else happy.  ~Gretta Brooker Palmer"